‘Missing you’ doesn’t have the same ring to it as it did two weeks into my time away. Living in Mexico for the year means going that time without seeing friends from home. After three and a half months of FaceTime being our only contact, I find that saying ‘I miss you.’ to my nearest and dearest isn’t precisely what I’m getting at.
I’d recently tried to sum this up in a couple of voice notes on instagram DM after two good friends of mine sent me the same video. It begins ‘To my best friend that I don’t get to see every day’. A poem is read which reflects on friendships in adolescence. She reads of two friends laughing. innocent to their futures. She recalls the days when she would do the same with those that now live ‘an ocean away’(Instagram, 2023). It articulates nostalgia. Precious time that won’t come back. At least not for now.
Tearfully, I sat and watched the video maybe three times before I could begin to explain to them both that they’re fucking awesome. Bridesmaid territory. Life here is rich and I have great company, but I grew up with those girls. We have shared ample days laughing just like that.
Basically, the poem resonated.
Days later I scroll my feed to see a Winnie the Pooh quote.
Pooh bear and piglet are characters from childhood whom I had also left in England. And in my youth but that’s besides the point. It’s true, you begin to compartmentalise the way that you miss friends in the long run. I’ll know them for life. They’ll still be there when I get back. So, why should I sit and feel homesick when actually the feeling is not as such.
Homesickness is gonna be a given when you move halfway across the world. Mexico is not the same as England in almost every aspect. But to spend time wishing to return and missing the life I lead there is not only unmindful but also counter productive. Besides, homesickness in essence suggests to me that what you have at ‘home’ is great.
You only miss the things that are worth missing.
So to miss someone, means the life you lead is fruitful. In which case you’re doing it right. A valuable life includes homesickness.
So, is a difficult goodbye really something to cry about?
When I say I miss you, i do. Its just that those three words just don’t sum up the entire sentiment.
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